Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Funny Cricket Quotes

Here goes a compilation of some of the funniest quotes during the game of Cricket:

Viv Richards

Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a superb outswinger, and Thomas said “It’s red, round and weighs about 5 ounces.” The next ball, Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground and replies, “Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!”

Richie Benaud

“His throw went absolutely nowhere near where it was going.”

“That slow motion replay doesn’t show how fast the ball was travelling.”

“There was a slight interruption there for athletics.” (Referring to a streaker at Lord’s.)

“Laird has been brought in to stand in the corner of the circle.”

“He’s usually a good puller – but he couldn’t get it up that time.”

With most series coming to an end around now and teams taking a short breather before training camps and warm ups for CWC, I thought i would share some little snippets I saw in wisden: 

Rod Marsh: "Hows your wife and my kids?" 
Ian Botham: " The wifes fine , the kids are retarded" 

Mike Atherton on Merv's sledging: " I couldnt hear anything except that it all ended in 'arsewipe' " 

And last but not least Neil Johnson, wannabe commentator: "The team that doesnt win will find itself on the losing side" (very insightful!) 

Merv Hughes & Viv Richards 

During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." 

Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k *ff." 

Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad 

The big fella popped up again with another classic, this time in the 1991 Adelaide Test against Pakistan. Hughes was less than impressed when Javed called him a "fat bus conductor" as the pair squared up to one another. 

A few balls later, Hughes got his man and as Javed walked past, could not resist shouting "Tickets, please!" 

Merv Hughes & Robin Smith 

Smith played and missed while facing Hughes in the 1989 Lord's Test between England and Australia. Hughes, never short of a word or two, told the Hampshire star: "You can't f***ing bat, mate." 

Smith then smashed the next ball to the boundary and replied: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. "I can't f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl."

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